Episode 16: Are you your own worst enemy? How to become your own best friend
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Prefer reading? Get the episode transcript here:
My guest today, Deborah Ivanoff is a Master Business Coach, Certified Mediator, Speaker, Author & Facilitator. She helps people resolve the delicate “business in their heart” so they can “get back to their business” in the world.
Her signature approach addresses the root challenges that keep high-achieving people from the success and fulfillment they know they deserve.
With her “inner to outer” approach, Deborah’s happy clients and fans lovingly refer to her as “The Being Coach.”
“Negative” emotions are not bad—though many of us have been taught the opposite—but, as Deborah says, “they will keep you stuck where you’ve always been, until you learn how to use them.”
We discussed ways to coach ourselves through those bad times, like so bad you think you can’t breathe bad. Deborah’s divorce took seven long years during which time she had to raise two little kids and support herself.
In the worst of the chaos she had a spark of genius—or intuition. She realized that if she wanted to have the kind of relationship with her children that she’d dreamed of, she would have to find a way to get up out of the pit of anger and despair she felt.
And she did and it became her life’s work to help others do the same.
We talked about how the mean girl is always on call and how to tame her or at least shut her down rather than allowing her to run the show.
Deborah actually has conversations with hers but speaks to her as she would anyone who needs attention or help; kindly and as a coach.
You can do this on paper if talking to yourself isn’t your thing.
And often this mean girl is running the same song over and over. Deborah says it’s a pattern.
And most of the mean girl taunts, or negative things we play over and over were given to us by someone when we were young. We don’t question these limiting suggestions, like “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re not so smart.”
The importance of the question, “is this really what it seems to be?” In the heat of a moment things can feel insurmountable. Are they really?
We talked about releasing emotions, positive and negative and being comfortable doing it. Oh, and about the time I threw a chair an an ex…
What do you do to release stress, reconnect with your happy place? For Deborah it’s nature. Me too! But I also love Brain.FM and Headspace for guided or unguided short meditations.
Listen in for more stories and ideas on how to coach yourself back into the place where possibility lives and you are in your power.
Things we mentioned: