Episode 59: Craft a Kick-Ass Next Chapter, Even if it Feels Impossible
Jennifer Arthurton was by all measures successful. Mom, wife, corporate exec, perks travel, all the things. Yet for a long time there was that small voice asking, Is this all there is? She had done what she was taught to do. Good grades, good schools, work hard, achieve.
Then, in the year leading up to her 50th birthday she found herself myself divorced, unemployed, empty nester. And I was bedridden with a stress related illness.” She couldn’t even be that avid gym goer. All of who she knew herself to be was stripped away.
Like many women who get laid bare by life (especially when we haven’t been listening to the body talking) she compared herself to everyone. She judged herself and almost bought into society’s framework for over 50 women.
Listen to the podcast here:
Prefer reading? Get the episode transcript here:
Jennifer writes on her About page
“Is there anything more insulting than being called old? All too often our personal value is rooted in how we look, the shape of our bodies and even our ability to reproduce. As we age and all of this begins to shift it’s easy to question our value and where we fit in. Am I too old for X? Will I be taken seriously? Can I still chase my dreams? Is it too late to start over?”
Whether it was too late or not she had no idea what she wanted for her next chapter and no idea how to find out.
But, since she is the founder of Old Chicks Know Shit, once she turned inward for answers, she discovered she knew a few things about herself that could become the foundation for direction.
Here’s a key takeaway. Jennifer’s inner work led her to recognize that,
“This is your life. You created it. That means you can also make something different of it if you want to. If I want to change my life, I have to show up differently in it. And it began for me, a process of healing and soul searching.”
In the second half some of us rediscover who we used to be. For her, she was learning about herself for the first time.
Another important piece of Jennifer’s message: listen to your body. It took an angel in the form of a trainer at the gym, to decline to continue working with her because the trainer saw she was not well to get her to let go.
Her self-care started with self love.
But not until after a big pity party. Yay Netflix, snacks, and a comfy couch. Have the pity party women. Big life changes take time to heal, process, and move through. Give yourself that gift.
Leakage protection and meal replacement shakes sent her off to find inspiring older women. Women otherwise like her who had created a kick ass life and lived that way at 50, 60, 70 and beyond.
I mentioned that I have a client who was ready to retire (62 years old) but didn’t want to yet because she did not know how to create a life without her work.
Here’s her response,
“Well, you can stay in denial for only so long before you have to face the thing. First of all, it’s coming.
She goes on to say, “Stop doing, literally.” Take time out every day to connect with you. Nature, meditation, walking, daydreaming.
If you’d like to get a taste of Jennifer’s work, she has a guide, “5 Steps to Becoming Unstuck to Create Your Kickass Next Chapter” (When you are on her site a pop up will appear and you can opt in using that)
Jennifer is a kickass and loving coach for women who know they want more out of life but are scared or unsure how to create it.
She has a free Facebook group here.
She’s on IG here.
If your main concern right now is, “Am I doing enough to age well?” a Power of 5 lifestyle assessment will answer that and give you next steps.